Does Rock ‘N’ Roll Kill Braincells?! – N-Dubz

Which three pop videos do you appear in with Skepta?

Fazer: “We’ve got ‘So Alive’”

Tulisa: “”Na Na (Boy Better Know!)’”

Fazer: “And ‘Girls’.”

CORRECT.

Tulisa: “We love Skeppy! Always have. It’s one thing when you’re cool with someone, but it’s even better when you respect them as an artist and musician. One of the most fun times we had with him was in Ibiza, when we went hard and it was one of those 6am moments where we were all just looking at the sea when the sun was coming up. Big up Skeppy, our boy!”

In 2011, which current member of the government’s frontbench was spotted reading your autobiography N-Dubz – Against All Odds: From Street Life to Chart Life?

Tulisa: “[Laughs] No idea but I’m intrigued to know!

Fazer: “Enlighten us.”

WRONG. It was the Chancellor of the Exchequer Jeremy Hunt.

Tulisa: “[Laughs] What?! What is going on with the world? Was he trying to prep to win over his key market? That’s crazy!”

Do you think he got any tips about running the economy from your book?

Tulisa: “[Laughs] Probably – hopefully yeah! With N-Dubz, this amount of chaos has gotta teach someone something! There’s something to learn for everyone!”

Which are the only two N-Dubz singles not to feature on your 2011 ‘Greatest Hits’ album (up until that point)?

Tulisa: “’We Dance On’.

Fazer: “We were forced to do ‘We Dance On’. It’s so cheesy and crap. It’s not N-Dubz.”

Tulisa: “It was for a movie soundtrack [2010’s StreetDance 3D]. I can’t listen to it. We hate it. It’s the worst piece of music we ever made.”

Dappy: “Just pretend we never made that song! [Laughs] What was the other one?”

WRONG. ‘We Dance On’ was indeed left off your ‘Greatest Hits’ – the other omitted track was ‘Feva Las Vegas’.

Dappy: “That record was when we really started coming together as a group. [N-Dubz start singing ‘Feva Las Vegas’]. We started developing and realising about content, good lyrics, strong meanings and melodies, and nowadays, when we’re the studio, it’s so effortlessly second nature. I can’t wait until you hear our forthcoming new album ‘Timeless’. It’s insane. The key word is in the title – ‘Timeless’.”

Name all three characters you played in Channel 4’s Dubplate Drama.

Tulisa: “OK: I played Laurissa. What was your character name on Dubplate Drama, Dappy?”

Dappy: “I can’t remember! Sleezy or something?”

Tulisa: Was Fazer in it as well?

Fazer: “Yeah, I was. I was in the pirate radio station, but I forgot my name in it.”

WRONG. Tulisa was Laurissa, Dappy played Sleezy, but the character that Fazer portrayed was named Flames.

Fazer: “[Laughs] It was Flames as well!”

Tulisa: “This feels like N-Dubz in the multiverse!”

Tulisa, you’ve acted in numerous screen roles. Ever auditioned for a part that you didn’t get in a show or film that’s later gone onto to be a massive success?

Tulisa: “I auditioned for Nashville and I was doing the American country accent. When I had the audition, I was unbothered because I didn’t know what it was, but when I found out afterwards how big it was, I thought: ‘Oh sheesh!’. I haven’t watched the show, so I can’t tell you which character I auditioned for.”

In 2011, which Harry Potter actor claimed he planned a rap career inspired by N-Dubz?

Tulisa: “What?! These facts I did not know! Was it Ron Weasley? [AKA actor Rupert Grint]”

WRONG. It was Tom Felton, who starred as evil schoolboy wizard Draco Malfoy.

Tulisa: “SHUT UP! I can’t say what it is, but there’s something that has happened that now makes sense to me why it did, because he’s an N-Dubz fan. I’m not going to say what it is yet, but at the time I thought ‘Huh?’ and I get it now. Draco Malfoy – hilarious!”

Presumably there’s a whole generation of creatives who grew up with your music and have been inspired by N-Dubz…

Tulisa: “A good example would be Aitch. There was a picture of him as a kid at a N-Dubz concert with our T-shirt on and we brought him out at our Manchester gig last year, and it made me feel like: ‘Wow, we really did inspire people’. We kicked down some doors and it feels magical to be a part of that.”

In 2010, N-Dubz were nominated for a BRIT Award for Best British Single for your Tinchy Stryder collaboration ‘Number 1’. Who beat you?

Fazer: “We were well-upset about that at the time.”

Tulisa: “I wasn’t! [Laughs] Erm… I don’t have a bloody clue!”

Fazer: “Was it One Direction? Don’t know!”

WRONG. It was JLS for ‘Beat Again’.

Fazer: “[Laughs] That’s why we were so emotional!”

Dappy: “They don’t really ask us to award shows. The BRITs don’t want us there for some reason. Chat to them and say ‘How come you haven’t awarded N-Dubz Best British Band by now?’ I’ve got a bone to pick with the BRITs. A big bone!”

Fazer: “Tell them to fix up, man!”

The 2013 BBC Three series Fazer’s Urban Takeover saw him giving a crash course in classical music to unknown urban musicians before performing at the BBC Proms. But in classical music, which instrument is known as the concert master and is the leader of the entire orchestra behind the conductor?

Fazer: “Principal violin?”

CORRECT.

Tulisa: “WELL DONE! I’M PROUD OF YOU FOR GETTING THAT ONE! This is the man who makes the beats we sing and rap over and he knows his fucking stuff!”

Fazer: “The Urban Prom was sensational. To be able to bring music you produce in the studio to life with real players in the prestigious Royal Albert Hall brings your music into 4K. N-Dubz are probably going to do something like that in the future – possibly as a one-off performance.”

Complete the following lyrics: ‘I’m free to be whatever ‘cause I’m famous…’?

Dappy: “[Singing] ‘Call me Gallagher ‘cause I’m so shameless/The papers saw the pages like the cost of my failures.”

CORRECT. From Dappy’s 2011 debut solo single ‘No Regrets’.

Tulisa: “Yay! We know our own songs. Lucky us! [Laughs]”

Dappy: “You can never forget such powerful meaning. It’s the meaning – the words help people.”

Did Oasis give you any feedback over the namecheck?

Fazer: “I’ve spent nights around Noel, and he likes our stuff. He’s all right with N-Dubz.”

Dappy: “I ended up working with Brian May because he messaged me saying that I deserved an Ivor Novello award for the lyrics of ‘No Regrets’ ‘cause they really hit home for him and he related to them. So I replied asking him to play a solo lick on my [then] next single ‘Rockstar’ – because he’s one of the biggest rock stars in the world. I sent him the music and he did the best solo ever. Ever man!”

Tulisa: name the final four groups you mentored on the 2011 series of The X-Factor.

Tulisa: “I’ve got a mental blackout for everything before 2013. Due to PTSD reasons! [Laughs] I’m half-joking with you. 2011 was Little Mix, Nu Vibe, The Risk and 2 Shoes.”

CORRECT.

Tulisa: “Whenever I see Little Mix, I always get a little bit emotional – especially during big moments. I know they’re not working together at the moment [they went on indefinite hiatus in 2022], but when I saw them become the first girl group to win the BRIT Award for British Group in 2021, I became teary-eyed. Even though they’re all grown up now, a part of me still sees them as the babies I once knew in their little dicky bows and glasses.”

Rumours keep abounding that The X-Factor could be coming back. Would you be up for returning as a judge?

Tulisa: “I don’t know. It’s not something I could think about at this moment. It’s a time of my life that was incredible and amazing, but I also had a lot of drama during that period and I’m very much enjoying this peaceful time of my life just making music – which is what I do best. And especially doing it with N-Dubz, which feels like my comfort zone. Anything that disturbs me is not something I’m going to involve myself in or do, so I can’t see how something like that would fit in with my peace right now and being my authentic self. At this moment, I’d find that hard to imagine.”

Fazer: “Unless they give you a fat pay cheque!”

Tulisa: “They’d have to pay me a lot of money – to make it worth disturbing my peace! [Laughs]”

Time for a quickfire individual members’ round. You need to answer all questions correctly for a full point. 

1: In 2009, which indie singer did Dappy confuse Martha Wainwright with on Never Mind the Buzzcocks?

Dappy: “I can’t remember her name, but she sang the song ‘Road Rage’.”

CORRECT-ISH. Close enough! You lavished praise on a fellow guest you assumed was Catatonia’s Cerys Matthews (responsible for the 1998 cut ‘Road Rage’), only to discover that she was Martha Wainwright.

Dappy: “Ah, Cerys! Yeah, it wasn’t her! Why did she [Wainwright] look like Terrence [sic] Matthews then? What do you want me to say to her? Don’t look like Terrence! She could have at least changed her hairstyle to help me! Listen, that Simon Amstell dweeb was a proper nasty person towards me on that. I genuinely don’t think he liked me and he wanted to make me look stupid…”

Tulisa: “Well, he liked the viewers you brought to the show!”

Dappy: “Definitely. It was one of the most-viewed Buzzcocks ever, until my next appearance when I entered descending from the ceiling. Simon’s lovely really, but I remember he did pick on me that one time. He got me!”

2: Tulisa co-wrote and recorded the original version of Britney Spears’ 2012 global chart-topper ‘Scream & Shout’. But what was its original title?

Tulisa: “‘I Don’t Give a Fuck.”

CORRECT.

Tulisa: “It was going to be my next single after ‘Young’, until it was taken so it is what it is. When you think about it, even if I could have had a Number One single, what it ended up doing – which is being Number One in over 20 territories for something I’ve written – is actually a bigger achievement than having it as a Number One myself. It’s given me more credit. People don’t care if you had a Number One 10 years ago – they care if you’ve written a song for Britney Spears and if your vocals were still on the record and she was singing over the top, trying to sound like you. [Laughs] There’s more power and success in that for me than me keeping the record, so it turned out great in the end.”

3: What is the name of the 2016 BTS album that the Fazer co-written song ‘Lost’ appears on?

Fazer: “It’s called ‘Wings’.”

CORRECT.

Fazer: “They’re crazy and a whole different machine. The numbers are ridiculous and they’re a great band to work with.”

ONE FULL POINT OVERALL.

You’ve recently dropped a new single ‘February’. Tell us about the forthcoming album ‘Timeless’.

Dappy: “It’s to do with toxicity, from both a male and female perspective – and the female perspective is just as harsh – and sometimes we’re arguing those views. Our lyrics are like things you’d say in a text to someone. During COVID, when George Floyd was killed by those nasty police, we wrote a song called ‘Vendetta’ which is special, which touches on that. It’s more to do with the experience of COVID, but it touches on that. We’ve also got things about depression on there. It’s real-life feelings. You’re getting the 2023 version of N-Dubz!”

The verdict: 5/10

Tulisa: “There’s three of us so we should have had the upper-hand! [Laughs]”

-N-Dubz new single ‘February’ is out now. Their album follows this summer.

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