Demi Lovato Opens Up About ‘Guilt’ Over Her Behavior as an ‘Egotistical Child Star’

Demi Lovato has a complicated relationship with her adolescent years, which the former Disney Channel idol explores in the upcoming documentary Child Star. And in a new interview with The Hollywood Reporter, they went even more in-depth about feelings of sadness and regret that have lingered from that time, especially concerning people who may have been hurt in stride.

“I didn’t realize that child stardom could be traumatic — and it isn’t traumatic for everyone, but for me, it was,” Lovato told the publication in a profile published Wednesday (Aug. 14), expressing regret for treating some of the people in her orbit poorly while working on past Disney projects.

“I think about people in the wardrobe department on [Sonny With a Chance] because I’d go in there in bad moods all the time, and I worry about guest stars that came on or the other actors or the people during Camp Rock 2,” they continued. “And it’s easy to excuse that behavior because I was so young and in so much pain, but I’m really remorseful, and that’s a guilt that stays with you forever.”

Lovato also recalled the tensions that arose from being the primary money-maker in her family as a teenager. “Having the child be the breadwinner almost inherently changes the dynamic of a family, and then it becomes, like, how do you discipline that breadwinner?” the singer said of their mom and stepdad. “I mean, they’d try to ground me, but I was an egotistical child star, and I thought I was on top of the world. I’d be like, ‘But I pay the bills,’ and what do you say to that?”

Also featuring interviews with Drew Barrymore, Kenan Thompson, Raven-Symoné, Alyson Stoner and JoJo Siwa, Child Star arrives Sept. 17 on Hulu and marks Lovato’s directorial debut. In the THR interview, she describes wanting the project to serve as a cautionary tale for parents of other kids gunning for a career in the “pressure cooker” of Hollywood.

Now 32, the “Cool for the Summer” artist is happily in love with fiancé Jutes and is considering having children, possibly soon. As for whether those kids will be allowed to pursue careers like she did, Lovato says there’s a hard bottom line.

“I’d say, ‘Let’s study music theory and prepare you for the day you turn 18, because it’s not happening before that,'” they told the publication. “Not because I don’t believe in you or love you or want you to be happy, but because I want you to have a childhood, the childhood that I didn’t have.’”