Does Eurovision Kill Braincells?! – The Fizz

Which two comedians played embittered Bucks Fizz members in a Rock Profile sketch with the catchphrase ‘Let me tell you about Jay Aston…’?

Jay Aston: “Was it David Walliams and Matt Lucas?”

DOUZE POINTS! (CORRECT). David and Matt portray male members of The Fizz, simmering with rage over the traitorous Jay Aston who left the band in 1985.

Jay: “I thought it was funny. My husband says ‘Let me tell you about Jay Aston…’ all the time! [Laughs] It was when I was very much out of the loop and they must have heard a bit of gossip. I thought it was quite poignant. You can say Jay Aston as much as you like as far as I’m concerned!”

Bucks Fizz won Eurovision in 1981 with ‘Making Your Mind Up’, but it wasn’t the first time Cheryl Baker had competed in the contest. She represented the UK in 1978 as part of the band Co-Co singing ‘The Bad Old Days’. What number did it finish on the leaderboard?

Cheryl: “11”

DOUZE POINTS!

Cheryl: “It’s etched in my memory because it was the worst the UK had done at the time. Generally, we’d finish in the Top Five, so Co-Co coming 11th was awful! [Laughs] I went into it with Bucks Fizz in 1981 with my eyes open, ‘cause having lost previously, I didn’t want to be disappointed again. I expected Bucks Fizz to lose, so when we won, it felt phenomenal. It was all my dreams come true at the same time.”

Jay: “My parents were both in showbiz, and my brother and I used to watch Eurovision as kids, both saying: ‘I’m going to win that one day!’. My brother competed in the contest the year before us as part of a band called Prima Donna, and they came second, so he nearly won. He’s never forgiven me for winning! [Laughs] Watching how it went for him, I tried not to get too excited as we were going up the leaderboard because anything can happen in that last minute. Those experiences helped prepare Cheryl and I mentally for Eurovision.”

In 1998, which heavy metal icon described Bucks Fizz as a band “very like Oasis”?

Jay: “Would that be Lemmy?”

DOUZE POINTS! The late Motörhead titan.

Jay: “I did the Never Mind the Buzzcocks Identity Parade, and there was a scandal over it because Lemmy got up and walked off set because the panellists were being really rude to me. It wasn’t shown on TV, and recut so it didn’t look so bad. But Lemmy came up to me apologised: ‘I’m really sorry how they’ve treated you’. In the late ‘90s, Bucks Fizz were going through a down-phase where people didn’t want to associate with us and bless him, Lemmy really stood up for me. Not long after, he invited me to meet at him in his studio in LA. I didn’t go, but thought it was nice. It was a bit of an odd analogy between us and Oasis though! [Laughs]”

Which pop super-producer owned ‘Making Your Mind Up’ as his first ever single?

Cheryl: “Mark Ronson.”

DOUZE POINTS! Who’s been the most unexpected fan of The Fizz?

Jay: “I know Geri [Horner], Victoria [Beckham] and Emma [Bunton] from the Spice Girls were influenced by us.”

Cheryl: “Prince Edward. We played a couple of private gigs for him. You’d left by then Jay, but it was surreal because we were singing ‘New Beginning (Mamba Seyra)’ and there was Prince Edward, a prince of the realm, stood in front of us doing the dance routine! He knew the choreography! It was weird! [Laughs]”

Which indie star denounced Bucks Fizz’s 1984 single ‘Golden Days’ as “one would hear more vocal passion from an ape under anaesthetic. Inexcusably dim”?

Both laugh.

Cheryl: “I’ve no idea!”

NUL-POINTS! (WRONG) It was Morrissey in Smash Hits.

Jay: “Well, I didn’t expect that! That’s fabulous.”

Cheryl: “[Laughs] Morrissey?! Blimey! Morrissey makes music to fall asleep to! Good grief! That’s hilarious! Music to slit your throat by – that’s Morrissey. No vocal passion? That’s the pot calling the kettle black!”

Any other pop stars said anything memorably bitchy about you?

Cheryl: “There was a comedy group called Fundation led by Hale and Pace and the actor Peter Howitt, who loves us, and he affectionately re-named our song ‘The Land of Make Believe’ as ‘The Band Who Make You Heave’. But we used to get a lot of flak in the press.”

Jay: “People looked at us as puppets because we were a manufactured band. We weren’t considered a real group.”

Cheryl: “We were thought of as teeny-pop, but at the end of the day, we were still sitting up until 5am with Status Quo, drinking them under the table. We used to turn hotel rooms literally upside down – so turn the bed upside-down, the plant-pots, tables, chairs, everything. Another time, we emptied Shelley [Preston, Aston’s replacement]’s room completely. We took absolutely everything out, so when she tried to go to bed there was nothing in her room.”

Your 1981 single ‘The Land of Make Believe’ was written by King Crimson’s Peter Sinfield. Which politician did he claim the song’s lyrics were an attack on?

Cheryl: “Oh well, he said Margaret Thatcher, but he’s also said other people! He’s changed his tune on that one several times.”

DOUZE POINTS!

Cheryl: “There’s no reference to Margaret Thatcher, nor anything political in the lyrics. He [Sinfield] was a hippy who would sit in his villa in Majorca on cushions on the floor, huffing away on a spliff writing these crazy lyrics, so I wouldn’t read too much into it! ‘The Land of Make Believe’ is our biggest song – it sold more in the UK than ‘Making Your Mind Up’ did. Even Celine Dion covered it.”

There’s been numerous litigation over the years relating to the ownership of the Bucks Fizz brand. Ex-Dollar member David Van Day’s version of Bucks Fizz released an alien-themed version of ‘Making Your Mind Up’ in 1998. What number did it reach in the charts?

Cheryl: “Minus 102? [Laughs] We don’t want to talk about David Van Day – not without being sick anyway!”

NUL-POINTS! It scaled the giddy heights of Number 84.

Cheryl: “Well, it got higher than it should have!”

Despite all being OG members of Bucks Fizz, you’re known as The Fizz now because Bucks Fizz’s fourth original member, Bobby G, along with his partner Heidi Manton, own the group’s name. Would you like it back?

Cheryl: “Yeah, we would. When we play gigs, I call out to the audience: ‘We can’t call ourselves by our old name. Officially we’re The Fizz, but who are we really?’ and they reply: ‘BUCKS FIZZ!’ Bobby G’s wife was in primary school when we won Eurovision. So it sounds like I’m bitter and….I am! I think it’s awful and ridiculous that they don’t let us use the name. How can they go out as Bucks Fizz? ‘Cause there’s nobody in their band people would recognise – even Bobby G looks completely different now. I think they’re nuts!”

“They’ve gone out and done a piss-poor job of reproducing our fantastic hits – three Number Ones, another four Top 10s, another four Top 20s – and it disses the brand of Bucks Fizz.”

Which Tina Turner and Cher songs did Bucks Fizz record first?

Cheryl: “‘Heart of Stone’ was the Cher song and the Tina Turner song was ‘What’s Love Got to Do with It’”

DOUZE POINTS!

Cheryl: “When we went into the studio to record ‘What’s Love Got To Do It’, the producer told us the song was meant for a male vocal. And Tina Turner basically stuck two fingers up to him, didn’t she? And I’m glad she did! ‘Cause me and Jay wanted to do that at the time!”

Jay: “Totally. I heard the original demo of ‘What’s Love Got to Do with It’ and it was far more R&B and identical to Tina’s version, but our producer made our version more electronica and ‘80s and it didn’t fit the song. And lyrically, it’s far more cool and edgy for a girl to sing, so the song went to the right place with Tina.”

Time for an individual member’s round. A half-point for each question correctly answered.

When The Fizz appeared on the Identity Parade of Never Mind the Buzzcocks in 2022, what did comedian Jamali Maddix claim that Mike Nolan looked like he could do?

Jay: “Well, I know they to identify who they thought was the person who didn’t belong in the band. And they guessed wrong because they thought I was the odd man out!”

Cheryl: “Was it that they thought that Mike was wearing a wig? So what did they say he could do? Take his wig off? [Laughs]”

NUL-POINTS! Jamali remarked that Mike looked like he could talk to ghosts. Appearance wise, however: pop star Anne-Marie said that Mike looked as if he’d had “too much Botox”.

Jay: “That’s right! He was a little bit upset backstage saying: ‘I’VE NEVER HAD BOTOX! HOW DARE SHE!’ [Laughs] Normally people think he’s got a wig on because he’s got insanely thick hair.”

Which three Coronation Street actors did Cheryl Baker perform Madonna’s ‘Material Girl’ with on 1980s ITV series The Funny Side?

Cheryl: “I know what they look like, but I never watch Coronation Street, so I don’t know their names. Pass!”

NUL-POINTS! It was Sue Nicholls (aka hairdresser Audrey Roberts), Jill Summers (who played purple-rinsed gravel-voiced man-chaser Phyllis Pearce) and Kevin Kennedy (Curly Watts). A special mention goes to Ricky Tomlinson (Jim Royle from BBC sitcom The Royle Family) on guitar.

Cheryl: “I watched it recently because a clip was posted online, but we needed Mike for this as he’s the one who watches Coronation Street!”

How many votes did ‘Let me tell you about….’ Jay Aston receive when she stood as a candidate for Nigel Farage’s Brexit Party in Kensington in 2019?

Jay: “Two votes? [Laughs]”

WRONG. You came dead-last after receiving 384 votes.

Cheryl: “Crikey!”

Jay: “[Laughs] Fantastic! Considering I was booed off the street and I had to wear a stab vest, that’s quite good. I had the stab vest in the car in case I needed it because there was a lot of aggression around at the time. It was very nasty. My husband takes the mickey out of me all the time about it, but I had to get one.”

Would you dabble in politics again?

Jay: “It depends. Our political system in this country is broken and social media and the way we’re bombarded with negativity skews the truth. The only reason I got involved with the Brexit Party was because I think to overturn the [Brexit] vote – and to say the people who voted for it were stupid – was wrong. The government we currently have is terrible, and Labour don’t fill me with any more hope, and our politics is fundamentally broken. Our political system feels like how it was in Bucks Fizz. We were manipulated in the band, it’s called divide and rule, and that’s what the whole system is based on: divide the people and you can rule them. That was my little political moment, but no, I shall probably just stick to being a performer, a mum and doing the garden!”

NUL-POINTS OVERALL. 

Bucks Fizz won Eurovision in 1981. But can you name the only two UK entrants that have received the dreaded nul-points?

Cheryl: “James Newman and Jemini.”

DOUZE POINTS! Newman received nul-points in 2020 with the track ‘Embers’; Jemini achieved the feat ten years ago in 2003 with ‘Cry Baby’.

Cheryl: “Sam Ryder turned Eurovision around for Britain last year. He’s my new hero!”

Jay: “We’ve massively felt the shift, because it was uncool to associated with Eurovision for the last decade. Since we haven’t won for 25 years, everyone enjoyed blaming everything including politics, but we just needed a good song, a great performance and for it to happen on the night. We were failing in the past because we weren’t sending anything to win – we were ticking a box and it was pathetic – and Sam has changed all that.”

The verdict: 7/10

Cheryl: “Oh good! That score’s not bad, is it?”

Jay: “Not bad at all!”

-The Fizz are touring the UK 

The post Does Eurovision Kill Braincells?! – The Fizz appeared first on NME.