Ethel Cain says public reaction to her makes her feel like “a dancing monkey in a circus”

Ethel Cain has spoken out about her experience of gaining more fans and online attention since the release of her debut album last year.

The alt-pop singer – who released her first album ‘Preacher’s Daughter’ in May last year – said that she began to feel like “a dancing monkey in a circus” as more memes and jokes about her public image began to circulate online.

“It’s very like, ‘Oh, she’s so funny on Twitter, she’s so relatable’ and then it becomes this big weird joke cycle,” she told The Guardian in a new interview.

In the past the singer participated in jokes and online exchanges around her southern, gothic persona, along with discussions about her featuring in campaigns for the likes of Givenchy, Miu Miu and Marc Jacobs.

She went on: “Don’t get me wrong, laughter and memes and jokes are always really fun. But when you want to post something to be consumed seriously, people are still joking – and then you get like, thousands of comments that are like, ‘silly goose’. All of a sudden, you start to feel like you can’t turn off the memeable internet personality thing.”

The singer, whose real name is Hayden Anhedönia, also explained that sometimes fans will break the silence of her quietest songs during live performances.

“I had a show recently where I was singing the really quiet intro to Sun Bleached Flies,” she said. “I went to hold [a fan’s] hand and they began sort of screaming, ‘I didn’t even know who you were two weeks ago, I found you through a meme on TikTok.’ It’s almost like heckling. I don’t think any of them are mean spirited, but it’s a little jarring.”

Anhedönia also explained why she decided to delete her Twitter recently. “I always kind of conflated openness with honesty and I thought that if I was completely transparent and bared every aspect of my soul that people would think I was relatable and kinda cool,” she said.

“Then I was like, I don’t want to know you. I don’t want to be friends with you. I don’t want to have all of my personal business and every innermost thought just out there on the internet for the world to see.”

She added that that some fans began to cross boundaries in trying to access her through friends and family.

“I really had no idea the full nature of [my success] until I had those closest to me kind of half-joking, half actually kind of complaining, being like: ‘People are DMing me and asking me questions about you and trying to become my friend only to find out months later that they’re really just trying to get to you through me,’” she said.

“I always thought that success would exist in a vacuum for me but it did start to affect my family. And my closest friends and even just acquaintances of mine. I’m not Britney Spears, but it was noticeable for them and it created a really weird dynamic between us for a while.”

The singer elaborated that part of the problem might be due to her classification as a pop artist, where female artists are treated “like fantasy football teams” who argue “about streams and stats and followers and almost using them as like Pokémon to fight each other”.

Elsewhere, Anhedönia said she is currently working on the follow up to ‘Preacher’s Daughter’. “I’m trying to push my own envelope a bit. I’m trying to be super intentional about it and careful and dedicated and meticulous. Some of the songs I’m proudest of are on this project,” she explained.

Last month, Anhedönia told fans she was “feeling better” after collapsing on stage during a show in Sydney.

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