Lorde on how she “took two handfuls of mushrooms”, “felt god” and “merged with her audience”
Lorde has shared a new newsletter entry with fans, detailing how she “took two handfuls of mushrooms”, “felt god” and “merged with her audience”.
The singer headed out on a short European festival tour last month, in which she shared revamped versions of songs from her back catalogue.
Detailing memories from the tour and more in the newsletter, she wrote: “Earlier this year, I ate two handfuls of mushrooms, solid doses that tasted like green dirt.
“I got a lot of information about what my body had been through in our time so far, what it needed, where God was and where God wasn’t; I felt in my bones how destabilising it is to leave home and start a new life the way I did.
“I also saw that my body is completely magnificent, and that hating it is as futile as hating a tree; that I truly, truly love doing my job, and that my life is like a beautiful tapestry, and every inch of it is precious and has meaning.”
She added that she is now leaving her “childhood working decade” and entering “the one that comes next”.
Of the gigs, she added: “It was good to change gears and get out of my head. I put effort into the show, changing the setlist and arrangements, it was cool how you picked up on that, and it felt good dancing to the new versions with you, looking out at you, all sweaty with your friends, all on the same drugs.
“I felt the throb of history that’s under this music now, how each year makes these songs feel more like collectively written and sung pieces. I left my body and merged with yours and it was ecstasy.” The full statement can be read here.
Elsewhere in the note, Lorde told fans she is currently “living with heartbreak”.
Explaining that she is currently in London, where she has been living and working since May. she said: “Things feel clear here. I haven’t seen many friends; mostly, I’m alone with my thoughts.”
Lorde added: “I go swimming, I go to work, I walk home or take the train, I eat in my kitchen, I go to bed thinking about what I’m making. I’m starting to miss my friends and family, like a vitamin I’m deficient in.
“I ache all the time, I forget why and then remember,” Lorde went on. “I’m not trying to hide from the pain, I understand now that pain isn’t something to hide from, that there’s actually great beauty in moving with it. But sometimes I’m sick of being with myself.
“I eat chocolate to try and manipulate the endorphins, bring back the sweet happiness of Easter morning. I sit in the time machine and wait for it to move, but it hasn’t been invented yet.”
Last month saw Lorde take a new ‘Night Vision’ show to Boardmasters 2023, where she debuted two new songs. She also made live appearances at various European festivals including Sziget and Øya.
It comes after she hinted that she could be working on new music but said she was “not telling, not for a while”.
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Will Richards
NME
