Noel Gallagher jokes about entering politics with ‘The After Party’: “I could deal with these Russians”
Noel Gallagher has joked that he wants to create his own political movement called ‘The After Party’ to “deal with these Russians”.
The High Flying Birds singer and former Oasis member weighed in his thoughts on the current political climate during a new appearance on the Funny How? podcast, and jokingly explained how he would deal with issues if he were to have his own party.
Talking to Matt Morgan in the interview, Gallagher said he would develop his own party called ‘The After Party’, and their motto for change would be that ‘It’s Going To Get Worse Before It Gets Better’.
“I’d say, ‘I told you it was going to get worse,’ but then it would be better,” he said (via Far Out), later giving an example of how he would confront Vladimir Putin and try to get Russia to “leave the Ukrainians alone”.
“I could deal with these Russians. I’d just sit Putin down, and say, ‘Look, little guy – alright mate? What seems to be the problem?… What would you do if I taught you to play guitar? Leave the Ukrainians alone?’
“Then I’d go all gangster and say, ‘Mate, look at you. I don’t [care]’,” he added. “The missiles wouldn’t even get out of the bunker, mate. I’m going to annihilate you. One phone call, and you’re toast – literally toast.’”
Elsewhere, the singer-songwriter also recalled that he thinks he would be a strong candidate for the UK Prime Minister. Here, he explained that if he were to take on the position he would make “bi-annual health checks compulsory”, as well as enforce some pretty brutal punishments for those who didn’t improve themselves after being given doctor’s advice.
“I’d say to people, ‘Right, well you’re not in decent shape here. We’ll see you in two years and give them a plan on how to get healthy.’ And if you’ve stayed the same or deteriorated, well then, ‘I’m sorry – it’s on you.’”
“If you show some kind of willing to get healthy, then that’s different… we can see if they have changed their diet or got more exercise,” he said. “And then if they didn’t – I would shoot them.”
Although having given some thought to what policies he’d have on his agenda if he were going into politics, Gallagher later explained that he has no interest in the matter, and opts to shy away from the details of current affairs.
“I don’t want to know – the only news I listen to is on the radio. I listen to the news bulletins, and that’s all you need is the headlines: ‘Britain and America have bombed the Houthis’ and ‘The Cabinet voted against the Rwanda bill’.”
“That’s all you need to know, you don’t need to get into it,” he added. “I think ignorance is bliss.”
This isn’t the first time that the High Flying Birds singer has opened up about his views on UK politics. Speaking to NME last June, he shared this less-than-optimistic outlook on the UK following Brexit.
“I don’t think it’s all doom and gloom. Although the world is a shit place now and England in general is a fucking… What has happened to this country? I have no idea. Well, I do have an idea: Brexit happened. A lot of people fell under some kind of mass hypnosis, but it’s shit England, now. It was going downhill for a bit, but actually fuck all works,” he said, reflecting on his mindset when writing ‘Council Skies’.
“Eventually, I will find the answer. The answer is: the world is a great place, it’s just inhabited by c***s, and it’s the internet’s fault,” he added. That’s just the way it is.”
In other Noel Gallagher news, earlier this month the Britpop icon revealed that he is in the process of recording an entirely acoustic album, which he says will be “for the fans”.
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Liberty Dunworth
NME
