The funniest joke of the 2024 Edinburgh Fringe Festival revealed

19 August, 2024

The winner of the funniest joke at this year’s Edinburgh Fringe Festival has been selected by a public panel – check it out below.

A shortlist of 15 contenders was put together by a group of comedy critics as selected by the television channel U&Dave, and that list was submitted to 2000 members of the public, 40 per cent of whom selected the winning gag by comedian Mark Simmons.

The winning joke, taken from Simmons’ show at the Liquid Room Annexe, is: “I was going to sail around the globe in the world’s smallest ship but I bottled it”.

 

The funniest joke award has been handed out since 2008 and has been previously won by comedians including Tim Vine, Zoe Lyons, Nick Helm and Stewart Francis.

Simmons said he was “really chuffed” to win the award. “I needed some good news as I was just fired from my job marking exam papers. Can’t understand it, I always give 110%”.

Other jokes to make the top 10 list included:

  • “I’ve been taking salsa lessons for months, but I just don’t feel like I’m progressing. It’s just one step forward, two steps back” – Alec Snook
  • “I sailed through my driving test. That’s why I failed it” – Arthur Smith
  • “Ate a horse at a restaurant once – wasn’t great. Started was alright, but the mane was dreadful” – Alex Kitson
  • “I love the Olympics. My friend and I invented a new type of relay baton. Well, he came up with the idea, I ran with it” – Mark Simmons
  • “My dad used to say to me: ‘Pints, gallons, litres’ – which, I think, speaks volumes” – Olaf Falafel
  • “British etiquette is confusing. Why is it highbrow to look at boobs in an art gallery but lowbrow when I get them out in Spoons?” – Chelsea Birkby

Elsewhere at the Fringe this year, the ill-fated Willy Wonka family exhibition that took place in Glasgow earlier this year has been turned into a show at the festival, with two of the original actors from the 1971 film involved.

Julie Dawn Cole and Paris Themmen, who played Veruca Salt and Mike Teevee respectively in the movie alongside Gene Wilder, co-narrate the new show, titled Willy’s Candy Spectacular: A Musical Parody. It runs at the Pleasance King Dome up until August 26.

A show by Reginald D. Hunter at the Fringe at which two Israeli audience members walked out after complaining about what they described as an anti-Semitic joke led to Hunter’s subsequent show in Glasgow being cancelled.

The Eastwood Theatre in Giffnock dropped the booking, saying that while they respect “the freedom of expression of artists”, they have a “commitment to our community and to our values of diversity and inclusion, which we take seriously”.

Hunter posted on X/Twitter after the decision was made, saying: “There was an unfortunate incident in my new show ‘Fluffy Fluffy Beavers’. As a comedian, I do push boundaries in creating humour, it’s part of my job.

“This inevitably creates divided opinions but I am staunchly anti-war and anti-bully. I regret any stress caused to the audience and venue staff members.”

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