The Kunts on their ‘Fuck The T*ries’ bid for Number One and LadBaby rivalry
The Kunts have spoken to NME about their bid for Christmas Number One with their new single ‘Fuck The T*ries’, as well as their ongoing feud with LadBaby.
The Essex punks’ previous two singles, ‘Boris Johnson Is A Fucking C**t’ and ‘Boris Johnson Is STILL A Fucking C**t‘, both reached Number Five in the UK singles chart in 2020 and 2021 respectively as they attempted to score a Christmas Number One. Then, they tried to score a chart-topper for the Queen’s Platinum Jubilee celebrations with ‘Prince Andrew Is A Sweaty Nonce‘.
“It was definitely one of the highlights of our sets on our recent tour,” said frontman ‘Kunt’ of the track lampooning the Duke Of York. “Even without playing the song, whenever you say ‘Prince Andrew’ people just want to shout out ‘SWEATY NONCE!'”
Asked about the challenge of putting together their first attempt at a Christmas Number One without Boris Johnson as their prime target for ‘Fuck The T*ries’, Kunt replied: “In a way it was easier, because without Boris’s smoke and mirrors it’s really been laid bare who is responsible for the terrible state the country is in. It’s the same people who backed him and made excuses for him throughout all his lies, cover ups and corruption.
“Now without his sociopathic charisma fronting the operation you look at the rest of them and realise what a vile, heartless, clueless bunch of cunts we are left with for the next two years.”
Kunt said that the band had yet to receive feedback on the single from any Tory MPs as yet, but that “we’ve also yet to have any sort of mention from the Daily Mail, Express, The Sun, or BBC, even though all of them have covered the Christmas Number One race”.
“It does make you realise that millions of people get fed their news by these sources and will only ever find out whatever the people that run those news outlets want them to hear about, in a way they want them to hear it,” he added.
On how their single captures the mood within the UK, Kunt said he felt the public were the most disenchanted with the government that they had been in recent memory.
“And with good reason,” he continued. “When you hear about workers striking because of pay and conditions that have just been let go, nurses having to visit food banks, people having to choose between keeping warm and eating, old people dying on the kitchen floor because all the ambulances are stacked up outside the hospital waiting for a free bed in a corridor, and all the while they’re still talking about lifting the cap on banker’s bonuses, you realise how biased the system is towards those at the top.
“Meanwhile we are all paying more tax than ever to compensate for the terrible decisions these cunts have made in our name.”
Asked if he thought the Conservative Party would still be in power come next Christmas, Kunt replied: “It feels a bit like they are going to cling on until the bitter end. Given the changes Boris Johnson made to the ministerial code and the anti-protest laws that were pushed through as part of the Police, Crime, Sentencing and Courts Act, I wouldn’t put it past them to change the rules between now and then so we can’t get rid of them.”
At the time of writing, LadBaby are at Number One in the midweek charts with ‘Food Aid’ – the novelty duo’s charity rework of the classic Band Aid single featuring Martin Lewis. YouTuber Mark Hoyle and his wife Roxanne first reached the top of the festive charts in 2018 with ‘We Built This City’, followed by ‘I Love Sausage Rolls’ in 2019, and ‘Don’t Stop Me Eatin’’ in 2020.
Last year they made history by becoming the first act to score a fourth consecutive Christmas Number One single with the Ed Sheeran and Elton John-featuring ‘Sausage Rolls For Everyone’.
Elsewhere in the midweeks, Wham! are at Number Two with ‘Last Christmas’ and Mariah Carey has shot back up to Number Three with ‘All I Want For Christmas Is You’.
Speaking of The Kunts’ competition, K said: “It’s looking like the main challengers will be the usual Christmas stuff like Mariah Carey and Wham!, which are hard to compete with because they get caned the whole week on every Christmas streaming playlist. Oh, and that shameless sausage roll c**t. Having seen him lie to his fans this week by telling them the best way to donate to charity is to buy his song, I fully despair for anyone that is still falling for his ‘It’s all for charity’ schtick. It must be an English thing.”
Do the band feel like they and LadBaby now have a regular Oasis vs Blur chart rivalry on the go?
“Not really, because I always felt that underneath all the bluster at least Oasis and Blur had a begrudging respect for each other,” the frontman replied. “It would be hard to find anything to respect about a grifting fanny rat beanpole and his wide-mouthed wife who became millionaires off the back of charity songs and use hunger, despair, mental health and now disabled kids to hawk their increasingly tenuous shit parodies.
“Then again, he might say it’s hard to respect a handsome comedy songwriter in his mid-30s with great hair.”
As for the future of The Kunts, the singer said they had a full length LP in mind, before plotting another single to mark King Charles taking to the throne.
“We’ve been trying to get cracking on a cheerful album of pub sing-a-longs for about the last 18 months but, because of the state of things, keep getting sidetracked,” he said. “Once our single to commemorate King Sausage Fingers’ Coronation is out the way we’ll hopefully be able to crack on with it.
Any New Year’s Resolutions?
“I’m going to try not to use the phrase ‘Sausage Roll Cunt’ for as long as I can,” he added.
There are 15 mixes of ‘Fuck The T*ries’ which all count towards the Christmas chart. Visit here for more information.
Speaking out against The Kunts last year, LadBaby’s Mark Hoyle said: “There’s definitely an element that people aren’t happy with this government, but our song is for charity – I don’t believe theirs is – and ours is trying to raise more money than ever for food banks. It’s something that is even more important given everything that is going on.”
He added: “Every year we say this will be the last time, but we keep coming back because the situation keeps getting worse. 7,000 food parcels are handed out every day this Christmas – that shouldn’t be happening in the UK.”
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Andrew Trendell
NME
