TWICE’s Tzuyu on cold feet before solo debut: “I wondered whether I could really pull this off”
There’s been a lot weighing on Choi Tzuyu’s mind. While the TWICE singer, who’s also the youngest member, is a seasoned pro with her bandmates, the thought of stepping out of her comfort zone has her a tad more flustered than usual. “When it was first decided [that I would go solo], I started to feel the nerves, wondering if I could do a good job, you know,” Tzuyu tells NME over a video call in late-August, just weeks before the release of her first mini-album, ‘abouTZU’. Immediately, pressure settled in, and before the process was through, she had lost more than a little sleep.
That’s how, in discussing the mini-album, this chat turns to the subject of dreams. “Like the dreams in my sleep?” she asks an off-screen interpreter. Neat strands of auburn hair fall to either side of Tzuyu’s face while a finger props her chin up in contemplation. “There was actually one dream I had recently that really stuck with me,” she replies, eyebrows furrowing slightly. “It’s… a little scary.” Honestly, it was closer to a nightmare: “I was standing high up somewhere when this woman fell to the ground,” she says, right hand slipping out of frame like an object in freefall. “There was so much blood. It was really scary!”
In more ways than one, then, fear is an emotion she got to know intimately in recent months. “There were a lot of moments where I wondered whether I could really pull this off,” Tzuyu says, circling back to the beginnings of ‘abouTZU’. It wasn’t just a question of music. An album cycle in the K-pop industry will run newcomers and veterans alike off their feet – even the biggest of personalities find all the broadcast shows and interviews intimidating. “It’s always taken me a while to warm up to people,” she adds. “I’m still pretty reserved. I was pretty reserved when I first debuted, too.”
Since preparations for ‘abouTZU’ began earlier this year, Tzuyu had some time to think about how she was going to get her ideas across. “Expressing my thoughts… It hasn’t been very easy,” she says. In addition to the Taiwanese singer’s introverted leanings, living in Korea for over a decade has meant contending with a constant language barrier. This difficulty has lessened along with time and concerted effort: “Preparing my solo album was a great opportunity to work on that a little more. I can tell that I definitely feel more comfortable now than I did before starting the process.”
If there’s a new fire in her gaze, that’s calculated – “I took care to focus on my facial expressions, especially playing up the intensity in my eyes,” she says – as is everything else that sets her apart from the past. A teaser for the album fixes on her face and lithe frame, loosed arrows flipping her hair back like a modern Artemis. “This time around, I wanted to show a different kind of charm, really taking a step to show the side of me that is cool and confident, mature, and sexy,” she says, winkingly.
“It was a real challenge, putting the stories I wanted to tell, the feelings I wanted to convey into words”
That confidence led her to take an interest in the music’s creative process, as well. The creation of ‘abouTZU’ wasn’t her first brush with songwriting – TWICE’s heartfelt ballad ‘21:29’, written as a team after the completion of a 2019 concert in the Philippines, holds that honour – but it was the first time Tzuyu took the process on solo. “For previous tracks, I was really engaging with the other members to write the song together,” she explains. “This time, it was pretty tough to go through that process of writing alone.”
“I can’t say things flowed easily from start to finish,” Tzuyu adds. “I got stuck plenty of times.” It helped for the native Mandarin speaker to imagine the song as a diary entry, private thoughts that only had to make sense to her. Once she heard the backing track, a picture started to play in her mind; eventually, she would jot down corresponding phrases in Korean and English. “It was a real challenge, putting the stories I wanted to tell, the feelings I wanted to convey into words,” she says. “It didn’t come as naturally as I’d hoped, but I took my time to work through each line, looking up any words I found more difficult.”
The result of Tzuyu’s efforts rounds off ‘abouTZU’, a collection of dance-pop that covers everything from idle days in (‘Lazy Baby’) to bleary-eyed desire (‘Losing Sleep’). In the tradition of many self-written K-pop ballads, closer ‘Fly’ doubles as a sweetly earnest letter to fans, offering support to the ones that have supported them. In like manner, it also operates on a sort of fairy tale logic: “If you can dream it, then you can be it / You got to follow the beat of your heart,” Tzuyu sings.
“With this being my first solo album, I thought it would be especially meaningful if I could tell my story through lyrics I wrote myself,” she says of the track. “I was most inspired by the experiences and emotions I’ve carried from childhood to where I am now.” That’s why it also functions as a reminder to herself: “Sometimes the sky may be full / With layers of dark clouds / Anyway I’m gonna try.” Her own childhood dreams didn’t come true, after all, without heaps of hard work, sacrifice and pluck.
“It’s always taken me a while to warm up to people. I’m still pretty reserved. I was pretty reserved when I first debuted, too”
At the tender age of 13, Tzuyu left Tainan for Seoul to become a trainee under JYP Entertainment. Three years later, she appeared on Sixteen, the reality show that formed TWICE. Though she had initially been sorted into the B (or “Minor”) team by JYP co-founder J. Y. Park, the general public bucked his assessment, ascending her to the top of the audience rankings. Her members, including eldest Nayeon, have even credited Tzuyu with bringing them attention in their early days: “Because of you, they had a chance to get to know the rest of us.”
“I feel grateful to the members when they say this sort of thing,” Tzuyu reflects. “Personally, I don’t think I was the one to bring TWICE this level of attention. People have been introduced to TWICE through so many different ways.” One way or another, she reasons, the prismatic girl group will find a way to worm their way into your heart. Case in point: “I remember being especially fascinated by the sheer number of people who sang along to [Sana’s] ‘shy, shy, shy’ line [in 2016’s ‘Cheer Up’].”
And, whether it’s dynamic solo concert stages or full EPs, there are always friendly faces rooting Tzuyu on from the wings. This time around it was “Jihyo–unnie and Nayeon-unnie” – the pair of TWICE members who’d gone solo before her – who were “the first ones” to offer her a helping hand, the K-pop star reveals. “[They told] me that if there was anything they could help me with, if I ever felt stuck, they would be more than happy to help.”
It’s thanks to them (and, of course, love from ONCEs), Tzuyu says, that she’s been able to fight through that initial hesitation. Left in its place? Curiosity. Even if “showing new sides” is a cliché in the world of K-pop, it’s still a sentiment the singer took to heart – before titling an album ‘abouTZU’, you really have to know ‘about you’. She was basically begging to have a few small epiphanies of her own along the way.
Most of all, the process introduced her to a version of herself she’d never been in touch with before: the fearless side of Tzuyu. That type of bravery can cast even the scariest of nightmares in a kinder light. “I read something that said it’s actually good luck to see blood in a dream,” she says, thinking back to the one that initially rattled her. This interpretation soothed her mind: “So I reassured myself and thought it was a relief.”
It’s a sign of the inner transformation Tzuyu has undergone this year, apprehension replaced with anticipation. “To try something new,” she concludes, “that was a thrilling feeling.”
Tzuyu’s new mini-album ‘abouTZU’ is out now on Spotify, Apple Music and more.
Additional translation provided by Claire Min.
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Abby Webster
NME
