Zayn Is ‘Devastated’ After Liam Payne’s Death: ‘There Was So Many More Conversations For Us to Have’

Zayn Malik is honoring his former One Direction bandmate and “brother,” Liam Payne, following the tragic news of his death at 31 years old.

The “Pillowtalk” singer took to Instagram on Thursday (Oct. 17) to share a photo of himself laying in Payne’s lap as the two then-teenagers take a nap. In the accompanying statement, he says he hopes Payne can “hear” him, as he’s been “talking out loud” to the late start over the past day.

“I can’t help but think selfishly that there was so many more conversations for us to have in our lives,” he continued. “I never got to thank you for supporting me through some of the most difficult times in my life. When I was missing home as a 17 yr old kid you would always be there with a positive outlook and reassuring smile and let me know you were my friend and I was loved.”

He added that while they “butted heads” on occasion, he “secretly respected” his strong opinions. “Even though you were younger than me you were always more sensible than me, you were headstrong, opinionated, and gave no f—s about telling people when they were wrong,” he wrote. “When it came to the music Liam, you were the most qualified in every sense. I knew nothing in comparison, I was a novice child with no experience and you were already a professional. I was always happy to know, no matter what happened on stage we could always rely on you to know which way to steer the ship next.”

Malik continued, “I lost a brother when you left us and can’t explain to you what I’d give to just give you a hug one last time and say goodbye to you properly and tell you that I loved and respected you dearly. I will cherish all the memories I have with you in my heart forever, there is no words that justify or explain how I feel right now other than beyond devastated. I hope that wherever you are right now you are good are at peace [prayer hands emoji] And you know how loved you are.”

“Love you bro,” he ended his message, which you can read in full here.

Malik’s statement comes in addition to one from Louis Tomlinson and a joint message by the surviving members of One Direction, in which they noted that they are “completely devastated by the news of Liam’s passing.” The group statement continued, “In time, and when everyone is able to, there will be more to say. But for now, we will take some time to grieve and process the loss of our brother, who we loved dearly. The memories we shared with him will be treasured forever.”

Payne died around 5:07 p.m. local time after sustaining multiple traumas and hemorrhages from his fall, a recent preliminary autopsy confirmed. Local authorities believe he was not sober at the time and found substances that appeared to be narcotics and alcoholic drinks in his room after they arrived at the scene. In the moments leading up to the star’s death, a hotel manager called 911 to report that a guest was “overwhelmed with drugs and alcohol” and “destroying [their] entire room”; by the time police got there, Payne had already fallen from the balcony of his room and died due to his injuries.